Recently, my sister Mallory commented on the weirdness of her professors and how all teachers must be weird. Yes, Mallory, teachers ARE weird.
Take my high school English teacher for example. I loved her to death, but she had some weird tendencies. Homer was the classroom ghost. The smiley face on the closet mirror was done by Homer. Homer was also responsible for any papers that we turned in, but mysteriously disappeared. Staplers - a constant in any classroom; however, in this classroom they had to be kept in separate drawers because if put together they would mate. Oh, and did I mention the pet rocks?
My high school biology teacher was also a weird one. I loved this teacher as well. She loved animals. She had a pet boa constrictor roaming her house, ferrets, and igaunas. Yes - all in the same house. One time, she brought the ferrets to school and let them roam freely around the room. Let's just say I spent the entire class curled up in my seat so as to not let the smelly creatures crawl up my legs. What other teacher would let you play double dutch with the large intestines of a fetal pig? We had a blast that day in class.
Physics teacher was in love with Mariah Carey. Madly in love. She was the screen saver on his computer.
Chemistry teacher: Gullible! We had a water fight one day during a lab and when he realized that we were all covered in water we told him the sinks were broken. He even called maintenance. (Jen, ask Nate if he remembers that one.) Yeah, I feel bad now, but man did we have a good time. I didn't think I learned anything from this man because half the time it was teach yourself chem, but his notes got me through college chemistry.
Spanish - Oh, Senor! No comment.
7th grade history teacher had a stuffed turtle named Wombat.
6th grade teacher raised chinchillas and brought us pencils topped with their fur.
My zoology professor purposely got stung by a jellyfish because he wanted to see what it felt like.
My mentor in the biology department in college refused to sign my major until I watched his five-minute screen saver. I saw deer, owls, raccoons, and every other known animal in my parents backyard, but apparently it was mesmorizing to him. He was also a garage picker who brought his finds to class for us. I wonder what his basement looked like?
Now, you might be saying. Hey, aren't you a teacher? And the answer is yes, but I entirely admit I am weird. How else does one survive teaching seventh grade? Every once in a while, one must break out in a jig, talk to yourself, make a cheesy reference, speak funny, etc. I'm not denying being weird. We are all weird. And yes, Mallory, that means you too!