Somebody has to make it, why not me?
In the past I've always said reading was my thing. In my classroom, I would rather be reading than writing. My partition, my block from writing, was this excuse. I'd rather be reading. Really? Looking back, I see evidence that writing was just as important. I envied Stacy who wrote endlessly for hours. She filled notebook after notebook with her writing. I remember secretly wanting to go into her closet just to read a bit of what she wrote. I wonder if she is still writing that much today? In Battle Creek, I checked out a book from the library that had to do with writing. I can't remember the title; I think it was something like Your Creative Soul. Anyway, I remember after reading the book, I started getting up early just to write. The writing was three pages of freewrites and it usually was garbage, but the book said that getting the garbage and all of our whining out led to the good stuff. Why did I stop? Well, apparently, I'd rather be reading. The first time I read Pen on Fire, I actually read each chapter and in the beginning completed the 15 minute timer writings; then, I stopped writing, but kept reading. I guess I'd rather be reading.
I have come to realize that I need to write just like I need to read. There is no separation, and I need to stop making excuses to write. Procrastination creeps in and for some reason the writing does not get done. I want to write, and I want to be published. Maybe I don't write because of a fear of not getting published and having no one to read my writing. Take this blog for example. I have the privacy set so NO ONE can read it. It is not that I don't want people to read it - I do, but I do not want my students or anyone associated with school to read it. Privacy and security are a must. I need to feel appreciated, and I feel this with my writing as well. I want people to read my things, but I value some people's ideas and criticism more than others. Why? I don't know.
I need to take down the partition. I need to make time in my day to write and not let any excuse seep in and get in my way blocking me from writing.